Best Author in the World Madness
Sunday, August 9th, 2009 Aug 9th, 2009 leave a response

One day when I have reached the dizzy heights of best romance author IN THE WORLD, there are a few things I intend to do with my crazy superstar life. I thought you might enjoy hearing some of the wackiest ideas I’ve had so far, because hey, if you’re really really famous you get to do what you like, right?

Today I’m sharing some of the thoughts I’ve had for my back yard-which will be BIG.


1. In the backyard of my fabulous mega-mansion set on the hills of a remote lake in Italy, I want the Bellagio Fountains from Las Vegas, (or their equivalent) At 6 p.m. every night a gong will sound and all the drapes and windows leading out onto my fabulous patio and pool area will miraculously open to reveal-the fountains and the music of my choice. Fabulous, right? And totally appropriate for a romance writer.


2. When the fountains aren’t going during the daytime, I figure I’ll need something else to entertain my guests, so every hour there will be a show from some synchronized swimmers, and maybe, depending on quite how crazy I feel, a few dolphins or Shamu thrown in. Maybe even Michael Phelps…


3. I love Gnomes, I have no idea why. I believe I’ll blame my next door neighbors in London who had some that I loved when I was a kid. I also understand that many people hate garden gnomes and throw them out when they purchase a property-horrors! I propose to set up a Gnome sanctuary in my vast estates, where people can leave their unwanted gnomes and be sure that they will be safe with someone who loves them, that they will receive regular upkeep, a fresh coat of paint and security for ever more…


4. Now this one is for when I finally go off my rocker and yes, I know it’s not pc or okay, etc etc and I’d never really do it, but, ever since I was a kid, and I totally blame PG Tips Tea for this one, I’ve wanted a chimpanzee, a little girl one in a frock so we can wear matching outfits and go out together hand in hand.

I also suspect that this is the one that will finally make Mr Kate Pearce have me committed to the loony bin…

So, dear readers, what would you all do if you could have the craziest lifestyle ever?

27 comments to “Best Author in the World Madness”

  1. Fedora
      · August 10th, 2009 at 12:18 pm · Link

    LOL!! Kate, those are awesome! I’m at a loss this morning for adding craziness to my current life–maybe a goat for the backyard, or some alpacas (I can only imagine what the neighbors would think…)

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 12:34 pm · Link

      You have to think BIG-think crazy and definitely forget about the neighbors 😉

      • Fedora
          · August 12th, 2009 at 1:58 am · Link

        LOL! OK, in that case, bring on the circus tent with the trapezes–always wanted to learn how to do that! (Although that might come into direct conflict with my fear of heights…) Plus, I’d like to rule the WORLD, OK, people? Just hand over that tiara and sceptre, ‘cuz we’re going to install our own throne to be making some changes–stay tuned, footage at 11…

  2. Inez Kelley
      · August 10th, 2009 at 12:44 pm · Link

    Wow. Chimps huh? Gnomes? Then I guess my dark dingy bar in basement with all the leather clad hero types drink free isn’t so weird after all.

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 12:51 pm · Link

      Wow, why am I not surprised by that image at all? And I haven’t told you what I’m going to have inside my house yet… this is just the back yard :mrgreen:

  3. Jennifer Leeland
      · August 10th, 2009 at 12:46 pm · Link

    I’d remodel my kitchen and bathroom. I’d turn my kid’s play room into a huge book sanctuary. I’d hire a gardener who would do all the yard work and keep all my little wants going. Like fresh tomatoes, an apple tree, stuff like that.
    I don’t want a mansion. LOL.

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 12:52 pm · Link

      all good things but come on, Jen THINK BIGGER!!

  4. ArkansasCyndi
      · August 10th, 2009 at 12:50 pm · Link

    HAHA Gnomes! Love ’em.

    Me? House on lake with infinity pool, recirculating fountain outside my bedroom, large party area poolside, and all my friends over every weekend!

    I have small dreams.

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 12:53 pm · Link

      Um Cyndi, I think you have all that already LOL

  5. Hailey Edwards
      · August 10th, 2009 at 1:05 pm · Link

    I would force my husband to quit his job the second I became The Best Romance Author in the World -and I could do that because suddenly romance authors would be paid to scale what professional athletes make.

    Then I would work out a schedule with Kate so that Shamu could visit the enormous pool I would install in the backyard for my daughter so that I wouldn’t have to drive her into town for swim lessons. Instead, I would let her start her own team and hire a coach.

    After that, I would sink some of my millions into cancer research of every kind. Finding out my dad has even a curable cancer was terrifying. I would make sure no child, no matter the age, ever had to face the loss of a parent that way.

    Hmmm I think that’s about it for me. Other than chocolate covered cabana boys to work while DD isn’t in her pool 😀

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 1:20 pm · Link

      You are a good person to think of others when I only thought of myself-and the gnomes… of course you can borrow Shamu

  6. April Morelock
      · August 10th, 2009 at 4:18 pm · Link

    Wow… you were really out there on some things. Let’s see:
    I would own a Carribean Island for everyone to come visit me on, with the houses that have steps directly into the water.
    I’d build a Montessori High School based on Erkinder philosophy and own thousands of acres to do with as I pleased.
    I’d go and visit Kate Pearce, JR Ward, JK Rowling, and Sherrilyn Kenyon to get each and every copy I own signed.
    I’d spend a year travelling all over the United States and maybe another couple of years visiting Europe and maybe Asia.
    I’d buy out DBSK’s contract with SM and renegotiate their contracts so they could stay together without dealing with the idiots in management at SM (sorry… favorite music group is having issues)
    And lastly, I’d pay for my mom and step-father to retire wherever they want!

    Then I might institute world peace, find the cure for cancer, save the Polar Bears and stop global warming.

    But that’s for tomorrow :>


    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 4:40 pm · Link

      I like the way you think, April!

  7. Inez Kelley
      · August 10th, 2009 at 4:37 pm · Link


    Think Playboy mansion only reverse the gender. I want to lounge around in my PJs and be waited on hand and foot by mancandy. Private rooms available upstairs.

    I want a library sized to rival the National one and will throw money out of the windows for giggles.

  8. Kate
      · August 10th, 2009 at 4:41 pm · Link

    MUCH BETTER! as long as youinvite me around occasionally 😉

  9. Jeanne St. James
      · August 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm · Link

    I would live on the top of a mountain with a helipad and a helicopter with a full-time pilot. *sigh* so sweet of a fantasy.

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 5:49 pm · Link

      Just you on that mountain top? Very crazy-oh, I was forgetting the helicopter pilot 😀 -sounds like fun!

  10. David Bridger
      · August 10th, 2009 at 5:42 pm · Link

    I’m going to buy a snow-topped mountain with a lake somewhere in Northern California, to live on with everyone I love.

    No, really. I’m going to do this.

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 5:51 pm · Link

      David, have you met Jeanne?? LOL and can you fly a helicopter? just kidding folks

      Nice thought, though 🙂

      I already live in Northern California and can see the only big mountain for miles out of my front windows (Mount Diablo) so my dreams are WAY BIGGER than this 🙂

  11. Voirey Linger
      · August 10th, 2009 at 7:02 pm · Link

    I am obviously not cut out for the crazy life. I want a little house to call my own, with a yard and a pool and a cozy little room to be my office. I must have a cat, and a blue PT Cruiser.

    When I feel like getting wild, I’ll fly out to a rock concert somewhere and come home with a hangover and a sore neck.

    Of course the bedroom will be stocked with candy and equipment and a toybox that takes up several lage chests and includes a few furniture pieces.

    OK, so I can do a little crazy in there.

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 8:03 pm · Link

      Crazy indeed! I think you just need to work on it a bit and go BIGGER 😉

  12. Charlotte McClain
      · August 10th, 2009 at 9:36 pm · Link

    There’s a little plot of land at the end of Nai Yang Beach on Phuket in Thailand. I want a nice little house with a huge porch right there, facing the water where the long tail boats come in.

    When I’m not writing, I’ll be teaching in the little ESL school I set up in Patong. Students wouldn’t have to pay and they’d be selected based on drive and their own willingness to pay back to their community.

    I’d open a similar school in the Philippines.

    And I’d travel at least three months of the year.

    • Kate
        · August 10th, 2009 at 9:52 pm · Link

      Lovely dreams indeed, but not crazy enough yet-I want y’all to think BIGGER!!

  13. Janine Ashbless
      · August 12th, 2009 at 9:25 am · Link


    I think I’d buy Scotland. Or is that too big?

    • Kate
        · August 12th, 2009 at 1:08 pm · Link

      No I LIKE that-my only question is, what will you do with all the Scottish people? :mrgreen:

  14. Janine Ashbless
      · August 14th, 2009 at 6:03 am · Link

    Well I know what I’d do with the cute ones…

    • Kate
        · August 14th, 2009 at 4:06 pm · Link

      check under their kilts? :mrgreen:

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